4 Most Annoying Ways People Park Their Cars

Ever since I started attending APU I have noticed that some people just do not know how to park their cars. Maybe I'm giving these people too much credit and they just don't care what others think about how they park. So here is a rundown of the 4 Most Annoying Ways People Park Their Cars.


The Doubler:

What They Probably Look Like:

"I'm gonna kill somebody if I don't find 2 spaces right next to eachother!"

Why They're Annoying:

This person seems to always be in a rush to get somewhere so they decide that it isn't worth the time to slowly park in between the convenient spray painted lines. The worst offenders are the little cars that have no business taking up 1 spot let alone 2. Mercedes, Lexus, and Prius owners seem to also enjoy pissing people off in this unique fashion.

What Everyone is Thinking:
"I should park as close as I can to them to show them what it feels like."

Why No one Ever Follows Through:
No one wants to get their car keyed. Simple as that. I have thought numerous times of parking super close to people just to make them even more frustrated than they probably were when they got the spot to begin with. Hmmm. Double frustrated person with a mini sized car, probably better insurance than you, parked less than 2 inches from you isn't starting to sound so good after all. Being keyed sucks but imagine if this person was just pissed off at the world for some reason. You're minding your own business inside Wal-Mart while a little tornado of anger and fiber glass is wrecking havoc on your car in the parking lot. Stay away people.


The Perfectionist:

What They Probably Look Like:

"I'll make you feel so bad about yourself"

Why They're Annoying:
Ever seen a spot so good it can't be true. You know those spots that are like 20 feet from the entrance, covered by a tree, well lit, No "No parking signs" around. They practically have their own red carpet leading right up entrance. These spots are so hard to pass up that Perfectionists will do everything in their power to get that spot. That includes getting as close as humanly possible to cars around them in order to take advantage of such an opportunity.

It takes these guys 1 to 2 shots to back into the spot since they're probably driving one of the coolest, hippest, and trendiest cars in Japan. They might even have one of those sensors in the back of their car that lets them know when they're getting close to hitting something.

Beep...Beep..Beep.BeepBeepBeepBeeeeeeeeep "You think I'm too close?"

What Everyone is Thinking:
"Well shoot I have to get out of here, if I bump their car who cares. It was their fault in the first place.

Why No One Ever Follows Through:
Because there is always someone watching. At least that's what you think. Shoot, it could even be the owner watching you seeing if you make a mistake. So even though you are super frustrated an in a rush, you take your time so no one sees you hot a car an leave...this time.



The Buffer Zone Nazi:

What They Probably Look Like:

"Did you see how close he got to my Corolla?!
he was at was at least 7 feet from it!"

Why They're Annoying:

How many times have you tried to parallel park into a spot only to realize that the spot is only big enough to fit a bike and a half in it? Thanks to Cautious Curtis, there is only enough room for the coolest, hippest, and trendiest car in Japan, a bike, or maybe a child or two. They never move up to allow more space for cars behind them because they fear that everyone is going to scratch, ding, or devour their cars in utter disregard.

"I'm coming to eat your girly Corolla! Nom Nom Nom"

What Everyone is Thinking:
"Come on!!!! Are you serious?! You can barely fit two children in that spot!"

Why No One Ever Follows Through:

There's nothing to follow through on. All you can do is complain to your friends and write about it on a blog.




The Mountain Biker:
What They Probably Look Like:

Why They're Annoying:
These are the people who insist on biking everywhere but still find reasons to keep a car around. The problem does not come with the car itself, but the accessories that are on the car. Specifically these little beauties.

Not only do these things take up more space than needed, but they turn into spikes of death when you try to walk past them. Seriously, don't mess with these things. They will lay you out if you under estimate them for one minute. You almost have to sneak past them and do an Entrapment style ballet to avoid not ripping your shirt.

"Aghhhhhh! I ripped my last Famous Stars and Straps shirt on that car's spikes of death"

What Everyone is Thinking:
"I'm gonna rip that crap right off their car"

Why No One Ever Follows Through:

Because this guy is so cool

“If there was a god, I’d still have both nuts.”
-Actual quote from Lance Armstrong

Oh. Wow. Guess he's not THAAAT cool.