Loud 'n Clear

When watching The Price is Right I saw this commercial for a revolutionary product called the "Loud 'n Clear" Enjoy.



Let's take a look at the highlights shall we?

Highlights:

12 seconds: Now you can have something as discrete as a hearing aid, blown up to be the size of an ugly Bluetooth device. Perfect.

37 seconds: Not only will this help your hearing in a setting like church, but it will also turn you into a grade-A creep. Now you can listen to those neighbors that you always suspected were doing a little too well considering this economy.

48 seconds: Does that kid's voice sound like Elmo to anyone else? It's like the producer of the commercial couldn't find a kid so they got some intern to do the best impersonation of a kid that he could.

50 seconds: "Even the quiet subtle sounds of nature are now loud and clear." Isn't the whole point of nature to be calming and quiet? I don't see the value of making sparrows sound like falcons hunting for prey. I could see this being useful later on however. (1:05)

58 seconds: "Ever wonder what people are saying when you can't hear them? With Loud 'n Clear you can discretely listen in." Well so much for privacy. Apparently this thing turns you into a freakin human satellite. By the way, what kind of guy stands at a party alone, with his Bluetooth on none the less. He doesn't even have a drink, look at his hands. This guy is just asking for attention, there is nothing discrete about what he's doing. Then he nods his head like "Yeaaaaaa they think I'm cute". Good thing the girls aren't smart enough to realize he's nodding his head to what they're saying. You'd think he's creepy side glance would have given it away.

1:05: If this device really allows you to hear wildlife before they hear you, shouldn't the military require every soldier to have two of these things?

That's it folks. If you want to literally hear like a fox, invest in one of these things. Shoot the commercial I saw offered 2 for the price of one so you have both ears bumped up to super human capabilities. Sounds like a deal for 14.99 no?